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Archive for September, 2010

His Death Brings No Closure

A week or so ago I learned that my grandmothers 2nd husband passed away. I used to live with him when my grandmother had custody of me. He abused me as well, who seemed to get the idea from my mother.

I haven’t seen him since I was 6 years old. The day we left him I saw him hit my grandmother in a drunken rage. As we drove away he shouted at us, threatening to kill us all. I moved in with my dad, and my grandmother went to Texas for a while to hide out.

I don’t normally discuss him, I like to tell myself that what he did doesn’t affect me. But it does, and always will. I remember in detail some of the horrible things he did. I haven’t even told my husband about them. His death has been difficult to comprehend. He’s gone, I never get the chance to get closure. Or is death closure? Now that he is dead(he had been ill for some time) he can’t harm anyone else. It saves people heartache. But what is to become of those people he hurt? How do we handle our feelings?

Maybe his death is the closure. A time to let go of all the anger. I’ll never stop feeling hurt and betrayed by him, but since he passed away, I’ve felt my anger towards him slowly subside. Part of it is I’ve always been afraid he would fulfill his promise of finding me and killing me, and now that is no longer a possibility. I can breathe a little easier.

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